You're Married!

 Little Bro,

One of the big challenges of being married is remembering to just be a good human being. The first thing God did for Adam and the woman, after he brought them together, he blessed them and then he said (Genesis 1:28a), "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it..." 

Be Fruitful: God told them to be fruitful. It's a metaphor that God uses often in comparing, in Scripture, people and trees. An apple tree makes apples, watermelon vine produces vines, a defensive football player makes tackles, a singer sings songs, a carpenter makes wooden walls, floors, joists, a lover does loving things, a fighter produces punches and kicks; you are created and called to create certain things: do that produce what you are made to produce.

Multiply: Make more of you. Mentor other footballers, weightlifters, singers, piano players, igbo speakers, golf players. Have kids. Whether through coaching or mentoring, or being a manager, or a parent, or an entrepreneur, train, model, disciple, make more fruitful people.

Fill the earth: All of humankind is meant to fill the earth. To do the opposite was part of the rebellion at Babel. Each person can only take care of a patch of earth. Find your patch of earth, where you will both nurture and guard what's there. (Everything God gives you, he wants to bring it to fruition.) Your patch is metaphysical in that it's your career, your online presence, your friendships, your experiences. Your patch of earth is also physical, your apartment, your yard, your place of work, your physical body. Treat your patch of earth as if God will come back and ask, "What did you do with the front yard (and everything else) I gave you?" Also, taking possession of your patch of earth assumes you have taken the time to be aware of what's in it. You accept for the oil, gold, fresh water, rare-turtles or whatever is underneath your patch of earth. Whatever physical or metaphysical patch of earth God gives, stay curious about it, there is always more than meets the eye in his gifts.

Subdue the earth: This covers the engineering part of the arts and sciences. Make the earth do what you want it to do. Tame it, make it work for you. You are meant to do this. Make the house protect you, make the furnace keep you warm, make the car move, make the sewage pipes do their thing. Make the sutures hold skin and muscle together. Make the keys sound out chords, and make the chords into music. Make the hair create the illusion of waves, make the air into words, the words into a speech, and the speech into rallying point for African American graduates at some university. This is the very mechanism through which you become fruitful: Subdue the earth.

You are doing all of these things already. You already are a good human being. Keep doing these four things, just be a good human being. If you can manage these four things it will make for being a healthy husband for your wife. Never let anyone reduce marriage to just a honey-do list. Never let anyone lie to you and say your wife is the only person who can judge how good you are at this. Marriage is something you do before God and in obedience to him, you'll answer to Him and He will judge. (Thankfully, he is the kindest, helpful, ever patient, loving, self-sacrificing Judge. Don't forget, He is relentless in his calls for us to love one another without condition or record of wrongs.) I hope you do every anniversary, birthday, and tough day as a husband with the idea that you will tell God, on the last day, when asked, "Did you show a faithful picture of my love for the church?" You will be able to say, honestly, 

"I was not perfect, but I did my best.

Jesus helped me and covered the rest."